


Date Night

by Del (goddessdel)



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: And just a bit of angst, Babysitting, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Just a quiet night in, and Stormageddon is very sure about River, in which River is very unsure about Stormageddon, tea and movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26656120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddessdel/pseuds/Del
Summary: "Really, it's bad enough that you didn't trust me to mind Stormageddon." The Doctor hissed, glancing between Craig and Sophie, "But did you have to call my wife?"
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/River Song, River Song & Stormageddon, The Doctor & Alfie "Stormageddon" Owens, The Doctor/River Song
Comments: 28
Kudos: 131





	Date Night

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea a very long time ago for a bit of fluff and I've only now gotten around to finishing it (with just a dash of angst). It seems I never can quite manage straight fluff. But I hope it's fluffy enough anyway for a bit of cheer in this, the year of 2020.
> 
> Written: 11/23/14 – 8/8/20

The Doctor was childminding.

Not in the usual sense - running around with humans that were practically children by Gallifreyan standards - but actually, properly watching a human infant while the parents were out.

Really, he'd just been in the area. Found himself in the neighborhood, and thought he should check in on Craig and Sophie. His mates. And, of course, little Stormageddon. Especially since he'd possibly last seen Craig before Lake Silencio the second time, and he had probably ought to tell him that everything was fine, really.

But when Craig had answered the door, looking harried but determined, his eyes had lit up. "Oh, Doctor! I thought - never mind. I need a favor - the babysitter cancelled and we have tickets to _Legally Blonde_ and we've not had a date in months and Sophie will absolutley kill me if we miss it!" He was already ushering the Doctor inside.

A favor - well, that was what mates did for each other, wasn't it? So the Doctor readily agreed, sat in their family room while Sophie hastily finished a phone call and promptly plied him with phone numbers and emergency contacts and bedtime routines.

The Doctor sighed as Sophie rambled on and Craig shrugged nervously by the door. "Honestly, I have done this before, you know. Off you two pop for dinner and a show. Stormageddon and I will be just fine. Grand, even."

Sophie wrung her hands nervously, glancing between the Doctor and Craig, who had now donned his coat and was inching closer to the door. "If you need anything, you'll ring? Especially at the slightest hint of aliens?"

The Doctor scratched nervously at his cheek, debating how to answer that since, by human definitions, he qualified as an alien himself. The doorbell saved him, and Sophie leapt gratefully for it. "Oh, you made it!"

Craig winced apologetically as the door swung open to reveal River Song.

River gave Sophie a reassuring squeeze of the shoulder. "Was there ever any doubt?" She winked at the Doctor. "Hello, sweetie."

"River! What are you doing here? Sophie and Craig are off to _Legally Blonde_!"

"I know."

The Doctor gaped for a moment at her smug tone before he leapt to his feet and crossed to Craig, who was watching River and the Doctor sheepishly even though he was already halfway out of the open door.

"Really, it's bad enough that you didn't trust me to mind Stormageddon." The Doctor hissed, glancing between Craig and Sophie, "But did you have to call my _wife_?"

Shamelessly eavesdropping, River ignored the implication with a smirk. "What, did you think you were the only one qualified as an intergalactic childminder? You're just lucky I beat out Strax."

"Strax?!" The Doctor sputtered, a bit overwhelmed to discover he was in the same category of childminder as a walking potato.

"Well, he was a nurse," River shrugged, shooing Craig and Sophie out of their house and shutting the door firmly behind them and Sophie's last minute suggestions.

The Doctor sighed, conceding the point as he wandered back towards the infant in question. "Fine. Right. Good, this is… good. I'd much rather have you than Strax any day."

River's laughter was warm and rich. "Well, I should certainly hope so."

The Doctor blushed. "Oi – you know what I mean."

Already putting the kettle on, River turned to offer a cheeky wink. "Oh, I absolutely do, and I'll tell him you said so."

Reaching down to collect Stormageddon, who was gleefully espousing his latest plans for world domination, the Doctor paused, scandalized. "You wouldn't dare."

River arched an eyebrow. "Oh, I absolutely would."

"River," she hummed in acknowledgement, digging through the cupboards for the good stash of tea, "What are you doing here?"

"I already told you, sweetie."

He stood with Stormageddon firmly in his arms, carrying the babe into the kitchen with him. "No. You really didn't."

Stormageddon reached out to tug on one of River's curls and she froze, turning carefully to look at them, wide eyes darting to the Doctor's for assistance. "I'm childminding."

"River." He carefully disentangled the infant's hand from his wife's curls before covering Stormageddon's own ears with his hands and whispering, " _You hate children_."

Busy doing her best to put physical distance between herself and Stormageddon, River's voice was too high to be convincing. "Whoever told you that?"

"You did! On multiple occasions." He cut off her inevitable protest, "And don't even try to say _spoilers_. If you're here, we're farther along than that." If anything, he was hard pressed to find a time they'd been around children where River hadn't been visibly uncomfortable at the very least.

She didn't deny it, clearly flustered no matter how level she kept her expression and voice. "Well, perhaps I'm here to mind _you_."

Sighing, the Doctor let her keep her distance, watching her fiddle unnecessarily with the tea. It was rare to see River unsettled - _except about this_ \- but perhaps this wasn't the moment. They were adept at leaping over chasms of _spoilers_ and uncomfortable moments in their marriage; it was easy enough to slip into their usual banter as though nothing had been amiss. "And how do you intend to manage that?"

"I have my methods."

The Doctor snorted, thoroughly acquainted with her _methods_. "And have any of them ever worked?"

"Not in the slightest." But at least she was laughing, teasing him again, some of the tension leached from her shoulders.

He laughed with her, retreating to place Stormageddon in his gladiator ring – watch out stuffies – before straightening and crossing back toward River as he retrieved his diary from his breast pocket. "Right then, where are we, wife?"

For there was no doubt that she was _that._ Any River turning up on Craig and Sophie's doorstep and teasing him about Strax was well past their wedding.

Fetching her own diary seemingly out of thin air, River flipped through a few pages in the middle - the volume of pages on each side enough to reassure the Doctor that there was still plenty of _time_ \- and offered without even really reading it, "I last saw you on the Andorlax 5 dig," she arched one eyebrow, expectant.

The Doctor nodded quickly, letting out the breath he'd been holding - they weren't terribly out of sync for once. Hopefully. "Ah, yes, the Kraken was a bit unexpected, but I suppose we really ought to have known better after Andorlax 1-4."

"Ooh," River's eyes lit up even as she snapped her diary shut, "Looking forward to finishing that solar system. _Spoilers_!"

Leave it to River to visit numbered planets out of order. (Not that he'd gone in order either, but really, they weren't talking about him right now. And actually, that rather explained her lack of surprise at the Minotaur.)

Scrubbing a hand nervously through his hair, the Doctor quickly switched to a topic that, if not exactly safer, was at least less spoiler-prone. "Right, so. No Kraken tonight. Just... childminding. Of a perfectly normal human... child. Tea... and vids and... well, certainly not scones and texting, I don't think, and... River?"

She had that look on her face that said she was just barely managing not to laugh at him. "Yes, Doctor?"

"Err… what exactly does one do to mind a human baby? I mean, he's managed his first alien invasion, but is Stormageddon old enough for tea and vids?"

River stiffened only slightly at the mention of Stormageddon, who was very enthusiastically voting for tea and vids from his gladiator ring, her smile still just for the Doctor, fond and full of mirth. "I haven't the faintest idea, Doctor. What would I know about babies? I'm here to mind _you_."

"Well, I'm certainly old enough for tea and vids."

The sound of River's genuine laughter unclenched the nerves in his heart. "We'll see about that."

But she took her tea to settle on the sofa, carefully stepping around Stormageddon without making eye contact with the child.

  
The Doctor sighed and followed her, fidgeting. River neatly stole the remote from him before he could sonic it, somehow working it annoyingly perfectly as she flipped through the vids on offer as though nothing were amiss.

Only it was definitely still very much amiss.

The Doctor shoved his hands in his pockets. He crossed his legs an uncrossed them, bouncing slightly to test the cushion.

He glanced furtively between Stormageddon and his wife, listening to the former babble about his latest dare-devil escapades and escapes and plans to take over the world, and really, they'd quite get on, if they just _tried_.

Before he could think better of it, the Doctor plucked Stormageddon from his ring and settled back on the sofa with Stormageddon on his lap.

River froze.

Stormageddon paused his chatter, wide eyes fixed greedily on River's luminous curls.

The Doctor plunged resolutely forward, one hand balancing Stormageddon while the other scratched at his cheek. "Right, so, vids! Oh, that one has _Armageddon_ in the title – which sounds very world-endy and... violent... which I definitely don't approve of – violence or armageddons, strictly speaking, but it is _fiction_ , so I suppose I could watch just _one_. That is, unless you fancy _Bake Off_? I met Mary, once - taught her a thing or twenty... did I ever tell you about-?"

It was working, in so much that River was letting him babble instead of leaving or slapping him; she seemed resigned to ignoring Stormageddon's presence on the sofa entirely.

But then Stormageddon's pudgy little hand brushed up against River's arm and she stiffened, pulling abruptly away, truce over. "What does he want?"

Sighing, the Doctor resettled Stormageddon so that he couldn't reach River, hushing his protests. "He just likes your hair. Says it looks like the sun. I told him it's bigger than some suns, but he just said I was being ridiculous. Humans and their mono-sun obsession."

The sound that came out of River was too brittle to be a laugh. "My hair is not bigger than the sun."

"Depends on the sun."

"Oh, honestly," and River quickly flipped through the vids and chose one – not the Armageddon-y one the Doctor had expected, and sadly not _Bake Off_ , but something called _Brave_. "Just drink your tea."

The Doctor huffed, "Really, you should be pleased. You get to be _Sun Person_. I'm still just _Not Mum_ ," stretching out his fingertips to brush against River's arm soothingly. Even Stormageddon was not foolish enough to call River a _peasant._

With a quick look to reassure herself that Stormageddon definitely couldn't reach her from the Doctor's other arm, River slowly relaxed, settling into the Doctor's side and keeping her eyes fixed pointedly on the movie. "Hush, now, it's starting."

The vid proved rather entertaining, and the Doctor let it occupy the portion of his attention that wasn't focused on his wife or their charge for the evening.

As soon as the main character popped up on the screen, Stormageddon was suddenly absolutely engrossed, babbling about all that _hair_ , and the Doctor had just opened his mouth to translate, when River cut him off neatly. "Not another word about my hair."

Stormageddon quieted without having to be told, once again proving that River's warning tone was universally understood as non-negotiable. The Doctor mimed zipping his lips shut, using the opportunity to tuck River in closer because, human charge or no, these quiet moments together were too rare to be squandered.

On any other night, with anyone other than River, the Doctor would have found himself intolerably bored – just sitting still, watching a single cheerful vid, no danger in sight. But it was River, and River was never boring. The Doctor found himself spending most of the vid watching her out of the corner of his eyes, watching the way her body moved with her breath and as she shifted against him, listening to the reassuring double-beat of her hearts, calm and steady under her skin.

In fact, the Doctor would have been perfectly content to stay just there for a thousand vids, if not for Stormageddon wriggling determinedly on his other side, fighting the sleepiness gathering at his eyes and trying to find a way to reach River - she had attained godlike status through virtue of her hair and cool demeanor, and Stormageddon was determined not to be deprived of meeting his own personal deity.

Of course, the Doctor was faster than even Stormageddon's sneakiest plans, and he managed to keep the peace until Stormageddon, overtired and frustrated at being thwarted, started protesting. Loudly.

With a sigh, River finally turned to regard Stormageddon. "What does he want now?"

The Doctor hedged, perfectly aware of exactly what Stormageddon wanted and equally as aware of how River would take his request. "Why don't you ask him?"

"You're the one who speaks baby."

With a sigh, adjusting a wiggling Stormageddon again, the Doctor carefully translated. "He wants you to hold him."

As expected, River blanched. She was still for long enough that even Stormageddon stilled, the two of them watching each other closely.

Finally, River's gaze dropped, her voice soft enough that it would be difficult for anyone else to catch over the vid still playing in the background. "Okay."

The Doctor glanced up, surprised. "Okay?"

"I don't hate children, Doctor – yes, I know what I've said – Rule One." The Doctor squeezed her hand gently, waiting for her to continue. "I'm just… not used to them. I've never really been around them, and I hardly had a childhood myself." She sighed and finally met his eyes, her own crackling with emotion. "They're so tiny – so _fragile_ – what if I break him?"

"You're not going to break him, River." The Doctor gave her his most reassuring smile.

River huffed, "That's easy for you to say. You're brilliant with children."

It was there between them, for one brittle, painful moment: his fatherhood. The children he had lost. _Susan_. The children that he and River would never be able to have.

It was River's turn to squeeze his hand, apologetic. She didn't have to read his mind to know his thoughts, just as he could clearly see that it must've been intimidating for her, his ease with children and her own inexperience.

The Doctor mustered up a smile, shaking away the sadness that always lingered when he thought of his children, lost so long ago now. "It's just practice." Keeping hold of River's hand, he very slowly and deliberately loosened his grip on Stormageddon, who immediately seized the opportunity to crawl toward River. "And you've had considerable practice balancing far more fragile things than a small human - precious gems and extremely dangerous explosives – often all at the same time, you bad girl."

River stifled a laugh, which the Doctor considered a victory. And she valiantly managed not to flinch as Stormageddon clambered gracelessly into her lap, pudgy limbs jabbing her in the stomach before curling against her. Her free arm closed tentatively around the child, settling him more comfortably, and Stormageddon's eyes almost immediately began to flutter closed.

Wide-eyed, River's gaze shifted between Stormageddon and the Doctor. "Is that it? He's sleeping, just like that?"

"Well, he was tired," the Doctor offered, shifting closer on the sofa so that the three of them were nestled in a more relaxed position, "and not everyone gets the opportunity to sleep on their own personal sun. How was he supposed to resist your lure?"

Careful not to jostle the babe, River swatted him gently, refusing to meet his eyes. "Oh, hush. Watch the movie. And don't you dare leave me alone with him."

"I wouldn't dream of it, wife." The Doctor nuzzled his face into River's curls, braving their soft tickles to press a kiss to her cheek and earn another of those just-for-him fond smiles.

Snuggling with his wife and their sleeping charge, the Doctor couldn't imagine anywhere else he'd rather be.


End file.
